The Rock Out in The Sea
by EmeraldTulip
Summary: But what is more beautiful than the sunset? Perhaps this is. This life. Perhaps not. Who is to say? / She sat alone, because where else was she going to go? [Secret Santa for Astri. Angels]


**Hello, everyone! First post of 2016, yay! _And_ my tenth story! Anyway, this is for the Secret Santa thing, and it's for Astri. Angels! So, without further ado, onward!**

 **A bit of a tag to Bionic Rebellion. Mentions of past Sebastian/Bree.**

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In the dead of winter, a girl sat on her rock in the shallow sea, not far from shore.

The Bionic Academy was just behind her, but she didn't really intend to go back in any time soon. She wasn't busy or anything—she wasn't really doing anything, actually, just looking out at the waves, the slowly setting sun. Thinking. Then the rather bizarre nature of that made her snap out of whatever trance the cold sea air was putting her into, just enough so that she could really comprehend herself again.

"What am I doing here?" she mumbled to herself, but of course, she wouldn't— _couldn't_ —answer her own question.

The wind picked up and her dark brown hair blew back, out of her face.

Cold, her mind said, but her body, at least, didn't really care. She didn't even close the light coat she was wearing.

 _It's all just so peaceful,_ she thought. _Unlike everyone else…_

'Everyone else' was her family, her few friends. No one ever really left her alone—maybe that was why she came out here. Because no one would bother her, no one would ever want to wade out into the water to get her, no matter how shallow it was.

No one was like her, no one was willing to do what she did to find some peace. That was just one of the things that made her stand out from them. There were others, of course, but her natural inclination towards the comfort of solitude was probably the main one.

She tried to fit in, to belong, she really did. But nothing ever seemed to work. She always felt so alone, because they didn't seem to understand her. She tried to be what everyone wanted her to be, but the key word was 'try'. She wanted to do what they wanted, but she just… couldn't. It just… wasn't natural for her.

She didn't fit in the normal world, because she wasn't normal—she knew that, everyone knew that. She'd hoped she would fit in as a teacher at the Academy. But she discovered that there, she didn't really fit in very well either. She was almost worse than her stepbrother.

She knew how they looked at her. Like even though she was different, they wanted to at least _attempt_ to connect with her, but that she wasn't trying hard enough. And she was, truly, but she had no way of telling them that.

She wished they could understand, but she knew they wouldn't.

She thought, once, not to long ago, that someone did indeed understand her, because he looked at her like no one ever had before. Because of that, she trusted him so fully, and was crushed when he turned on them all, betrayed them, tossed her aside like she was nothing.

That hurt worst of all. Her ability to trust had been destroyed—and by _him_ , of all people.

For her brothers, she pretended that everything was okay with the world, with _her_ , but in reality it was all falling to pieces.

She wondered what would happen if she told them that she was doing the best she could. Would the think she wasn't good enough? Probably.

She didn't believe they would still want to be around her, if they knew who she truly was. How could they? She was just that person who tried but failed, over and over again. She's the one who would never be perfect, like they were.

People who didn't know her well always were the ones who always said that she was perfect. Some people sometimes even called her a hero. ( _For what?_ she'd thought. _By myself, I can't do anything. I'm useless._ ) To be called a hero, and to _accept it_ , was to live a lie.

Yet she wore those titles like a mask: 'The Hero'. 'The Perfect Sister'. She did it to hide what was truly her—a complete, utter mess.

She was her younger siblings' 'perfect sister', but they were the ones who were better, truly. Not her, it couldn't be her. They had so many more powerful and amazing abilities than she did, anyway.

Besides. No one as broken as her could ever be considered 'perfect'.

Why did people think she was perfect when she knew she wasn't? It was quite the conundrum.

Those who knew her personally knew her a little bit better. They knew she was emotionally beaten down, and she knew they wanted her to just try harder to fix that.

But stuff like that didn't just _happen_. And she couldn't think of any way to be better.

She tried, she really did, every day. She tried so hard, with everything she had in her, but she just _couldn't_ do better.

She tried to be the best she could be, but she knew she would never get to that point, the point where she could finally understand who she was and accept that she had her flaws. At this point, she had too many. She couldn't accept them.

If she left… would they miss her? Somehow, she doubted it. Seriously, seriously doubted it.

Her head suddenly snapped up at the sound of her name being called, and she turned to see her stepbrother wading through the shallow water, heading towards her.

Huh. Well, she'd been wrong in thinking that no one would go into the water to get her. That thought should have made her smile, but for some reason, it didn't. Her heart felt dead, impenetrable. Rock hard. Ice cold. Empty.

That was rather startling.

 _When did this happen? Have I always been so… disconnected?_

Startlingly enough, she found that she didn't care.

"What're you doing here?" he asked her, surveying the cold and very unforgiving space around them. "Aren't you cold? Big D says we have to come inside now." He looked closer at her attire. "Your jacket isn't even zipped up! How are you not freezing?"

She barely turned her head to look at him, opting to just glance at him from the corner of her eye.

Then she simply shrugged.

Her brother sighed. "Alright, alright. But you have to come in now."

"Okay, Leo. I'll be in soon," she replied, turning her eyes back to the sun setting behind the waves, the intense light turning her irises deep orange-red, her pupils dilating.

He smiled half-heartedly at her before splashing back through the water to the shore, waving once at her before disappearing inside.

Trust is a fraud. No one can trust anything. If I ever trust again, I know it will fail. I will be destroyed. I can't let that happen again.

The light from the sun caused spots of yellow light to dance in front of her eyes, but she didn't mind. She could still see, and it was beautiful.

 _But what else in this world is as beautiful? Not much, honestly._

 _Maybe it's easier if I just… swim away. Never come back here. I just mess everything up, anyway. They won't miss me._

Almost as though she was possessed, she slowly slid from the rock, landing in the shallow water with a small splash. She began to walk towards the sun, getting deeper and deeper into the water. The water rose past her knees, and after a few moments she got deep enough so she was almost completely underwater, just her head was above.

Abruptly, just as the water rose past her nose and she could no longer breathe—just as she would have taken off, gone far from the island—she snapped back to her senses.

She immediately backpedaled, gasping for the air denied to her for a few brief seconds. It was not so much that she was deprived of oxygen, it was more of the panic stemming from the action which she had nearly done.

Suddenly, the chill from the water, the ghostly air, seemed to soak into her skin, and she drew her coat tighter around her.

 _Not even the beauty of the sun is worth this—any of this. I can't leave, not now, not ever._

Turning, she began to trudge back to the shore. As she passed her normal rock, she shivered—that rock no longer was a comfort to her, it would only serve to remind her of what she'd almost just done, how she'd almost just abandoned them. She'd have to find a better thinking place.

"Hey, you coming?" her brother's voice called out from the mentor's quarters.

She shivered again, but managed to keep the chilliness from her voice. "Yeah, of course."

From where she stood, she could hear her brothers laughing, joking, yelling at the video game they were playing. She could hear her father and uncle immaturely arguing over whatever invention they were building.

That was her family.

Finally, her heart thawed, warmed. For the first time since Sebastian betrayed them and got sent away, Bree Davenport smiled—it was faint, but it was there.

Maybe, for her family, she could try harder, just a little.

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 **And that's a wrap, people! First story of 2016—good, bad? Astri. Angels, was this… to your taste? You mentioned you liked Bree/Sebastian, angst, and internal conflict. I hope I delivered!**

 **As always, review, review! I love reviews! :D**

 **Anyway, thanks for reading, everyone! Happy New Year, and let's all hope for a good 2016!**


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